The past few days, I have been so inspired by Eryn Eddy and her recent blog post where she spilled open her heart and shared parts of her journey over the last year. Her post has both haunted and encouraged me. I saw parts of myself reflected in her words and I related to so many of her thoughts on processing grief.
These past 18 months have held so much grief, in many different layers, yet it has also held so much beauty for me. To be reminded that processing grief, being vulnerable and truly showing up in life looks different for every single person, was such an encouragement.
Her post inspired me to share more of my own heart, and I'll be honest, preparing for this show has been an exhilarating, exhausting, amazing, and nerve-wracking whirlwind.
I haven’t shared myself like this before, and there is a huge part of me that wants to run the other direction. Sharing this collection and this art feels vulnerable in an entirely new way. And as I finished setting up the space yesterday, I couldn’t help but feel a bit emotional. I may have spent the day straightening out jewelry on displays and hanging art on the walls, but it truly felt more like I was putting a piece of myself up on the wall for all to see.
I felt overwhelmed with excitement as I got to see these artworks up on a wall for the first time ever. I was a bit shocked by how it poured over me, a sense of wonder…a sense of pride. I made these things, I put my heart and soul (and literal blood, sweat and tears) into these things.
These simple objects are a complex and outward show of what’s in my heart, what’s in my soul. It’s a concentrated version of who I am at my very core.
To say that I feel vulnerable sharing these things is an understatement. To say I’m nervous is an understatement too. But mostly, I feel proud and I feel excited. Although it is quite scary, being able to show the truest parts of myself is exhilarating in a way I just can’t seem to articulate.
So here we are, hours away from my biggest show yet and I couldn’t be more proud or excited to bring these pieces into the world for everyone to see. Sure, I’ll probably have a vulnerability hangover tomorrow. I'll enjoy a nice big coconut milk Chai to ease the pain a bit - it helps make everything better. And I'm sure I’ll wrestle with how to determine if this show was “successful” or not, but more importantly I’ll be in a whole new place. A place where people will have seen me like never before.
And just like Eryns’ post has inspired me so much the last few days, maybe someone will see a part of themselves in my work and be inspired to share parts of themselves a little more honestly and a little more bravely.
And I can’t think of anything that could be more beautiful than that, can you? So, maybe the vulnerability hangover won't be so bad (fingers crossed).
But I'll get that Chai ready just in case...